First Day of School 2012

AAAAH!!  I have a middle schooler!!! Where has time gone??  I am so scared because I have heard from so many moms that once our kids start middle school, the time accelerates even faster and then in a blink they are graduating from high school. 
I cannot tell you how proud I am of my boys.... all of them.  But I will take a moment here to tell you what a great kid Nicholas is.  He is an amazing student and always has done well in school.  He is one of the hardest working kids I have ever known...in the class, on the field, even at home when we give him a task.  This summer he even cleaned the entire pool tile by himself and went through 9 pumice stones.   He is respectful and loving.  He is sensitive and caring.  His little cousins adore him and he is ever patient with them, their questions and their constant requests to play.  He is a great role model for his two (and soon to be three) younger brothers.  He is giving and never selfish and on many occassions has emptied his wallet for those less fortunate.  More importantly, he loves Jesus and is always inviting his friends to learn about Jesus too. He is growing into a remarkable young man who is a leader to many around him and I cannot wait to see the plans God has in store for his life.
I am so blessed to be his mommy and am going to try to take every opportunity over the next 6 years to tell him and cherish every last moment.
(I am equally proud of the other two.....they will get their moment when they start middle school...I'm just feeling a bit emotional over Nicholas tonight)   :)

So...here is a picture that was taken on the second day of school because Nicholas and I had to rush off on the first day to make sure he wouldn't be late.

So...this is Cody entering 6th grade and Brett entering 4th grade.

Have I mentioned how much I love these three?? I am truly a blessed mommy!!

Summer Recap 2012

I really cannot believe that we are already one month into the school year.  Although our summer was a lot more mellow than normal due to Brett's rehab and ordered inactivity, the summer still flew by in a flash.  So, in an attempt to not let any more time escape me, here are a few highlights from our summer:

We started the summer with a trip to Disneyland (since that our Spring Break trip here was cancelled due to extrenuating circumstances) and took full advantage of Brett's wheelchair status.  The Rush family even joined us for a day.

 

Had lots of fun playing in the pool.....pool hoops was our new favorite this year.

Enjoyed a fun trip to Bass Lake with the Johanson family....

Enjoyed some time at Millerton on the 4th

Watched lots of Outlaw and Clovis West All Star baseball!

Brett even got to take the field in his team's last tournament of the summer....he still could not run, but he was allowed to play right field and it made his entire summer (and his mommy's as she cheered through blurred eyes!)

Got to experience the emotion and excitement of watching Mr. Brunn fly into Lemoore after a 9 month tour.  Have a newfound appreciation for those we so sacrificially serve our country!

And once again got to enjoy a week at Cayucos with great friends making great memories that we will cherish for a lifetime!!

 

And, as we were acutely aware of how precious life is and how blessed we are to spend moments like these with those we love, it makes the moments even sweeter and the memories even more precious!

 

 

 

Adoption Update....now we wait

We are so excited to share that we have finished all of the doctors appointments, fingerprinting, online courses, letter gathering, and paper producing that we needed to accomplish for our home study.  Our social worker is finishing up compiling all of the home study, then she will mail it to Immigration.  They will look over it and then send us a form to be fingerprinted again.  After they review the fingerprints, they will send us an approval that will then be sent to Jamiaca along with all of our paperwork.  Then we wait. 
I have heard that Jamaica is very slow, but I am praying with all my might that we will be able to pick up our son next summer while I am on vacation so that I will have plenty of time to spend with him once we get home.  Neil is hoping he will be home by this Christmas.  :)
So, if you want, you can join us in praying that Jamaica will move swiftly on our behalf (I spoke with one family who had to wait 5 years when they were adopting from Jamaica!) or you can pray for our little man who we don't know yet.  But who is probably lying in a crib somewhere in Jamaica....please pray that he will be held, fed, cuddled, cared for, tickled, and loved until we can get to him.

Luke 17

In Luke 17 it tells a story of Jesus healing 10 lepers and only one of them comes back to Jesus to fall at his feet and tell him thank you for the miracle that he had performed.  When reading that story and witnessing the miracle that Jesus performed in healing my Bretty so completely, it made me want to make sure that we all spend time telling Jesus thank you. 
(We found out this week as we read the police report for the first time that the lady who hit Brett did not slam on the brakes until after she hit him.  She stated that she saw a shadow, saw something on her hood and then hit the brakes. Reading that was like getting a blow to the stomach, although we are grateful he was healed, it just reinforces how miraculous it is that Brett escaped the whole accident with no residual effects or damages.)
So, we decided to have an impromptu party to all talk about the accident and the miracles that God demonstrated and to all pray together to say "THANK YOU!!"

Then, we got to celebrate by eating pizza and swimming late into the night with all of Brett's friends.

Taking his first steps....again

Yesterday we visited Brett's orthopaedic surgeon again for his 12 week visit.  Brett was originally told that he would be able to walk at his 6 week visit but because the break was a really bad break and the doctor could tell that Brett was a really active boy, he ordered Brett to 6 more weeks of no weight bearing.  That was pretty hard for Brett to take, so coming up to his 12 week appointment he was completely preparing himself that he may get 6 more weeks of the wheelchair.  I think he was scared to hope because of the letdown he had at his 6 week appointment. 
So, when the doctor walked in the room yesterday, the first thing he said was, "Well, get up.  Let me see you walk."  Brett looked at me and smiled from ear to ear!  Then, he stood up and walked to the doctor. The doctor told Brett to take it slow because he had to cut through all of the muscle in his leg to implant the rod, and his leg has not been used in 3 months.  He has to wait 6 more weeks before he can run or play any sports, but nothing could hamper my joy when I watched my baby walk out of the hospital all on his own yesterday!!  Thank you Jesus!!

Grateful Beyond Words

As we continue to process and Brett continues to heal, I am continually in awe and often emotional.  This last Sunday was Mother's Day and a communion day at church.  As I sat there remembering the sacrifice that God made on behalf of us I was a bit overtaken.  You see, God sent his only son, Jesus, to bear the weight of my sin, a sinner not worthy of this act.  All because of his love for me.  I am so undeserving.  And yet as I was pondering this, I was able to relate a little more closely to what it must be like to lose His son, as we have had to face how closely that came to being our reality.  It just humbles me and makes me so grateful that God loved us so much that he willingly endured the heartache to be able to give us all a way to spend eternity with Him.  Grateful beyond words.

And even more grateful that God continues to amaze us with his power and his mercy.  On Monday, at our appointment with the neurosurgeon, all that she said was, "I'm amazed."  She asked is he back at school. Yes.  Is he having any trouble? No.  He can do everything that he did before the accident? Yes.  How about his personality? Normal.

So then I asked her, "Why are you amazed?" You see the entire time we were in the ICU, it was this doctor that always remained optimistic and always told me that she wasn't worried.  So I couldn't understand why she was amazed.  Then she told me, "Your skull is a very, very thick bone.  For him to fracture that part of his skull would require a very severe blow. I am just surprised that he is already to this point after only 6 weeks."

Well, I am not surprised.  You see, I serve an amazing God and I know the power of prayer!  My God can do anything.  And once again, although I feel I am totally undeserving of his love and his blessing, I am still grateful beyond words.

A picture of his skull fracture.

The Peace which Transcends Understanding

Screech! Thud! Hysterical shrieks....

Although my back was turned to the horror, instantly I knew what had happened even without my eyes seeing. My heart sank as I dropped the phone I was holding, turned and ran to witness my worst nightmare.

My baby. Lying face down on the asphalt, unresponsive, not moving, blood spilling from his nose and mouth. Shoes thrown off. Contorted body.

Panic, confusion. Call 911. Call daddy. Pray, God, please! Brett you will be okay.

In the midst of the first moments of the accident, I was panicked, even hysterical. My mind was not working right and I did not know what to do. But God did, and He provided. Almost instantly help arrived and as it did, so did my peace....a peace that transcends all understanding. For some reason, as bad as that accident was, I was never worried for his life. Even driving away in the ambulance, as Brett was still out cold, deep down I had peace that he would be okay. Some will say it is denial, but over the next two weeks, in the moments when I needed God the most, He showed up.

One in particular I will never forget. The mornings in ICU when Brett was sleeping were the hardest for me. I always thought that after a full nights rest that he would wake in the morning. On the 4th morning without waking, I began to feel very weary. I just wanted to see my baby's eyes and have him stay awake and alert. At that moment, no one could console me. No one could help me. No one had any words that could help my heart, except God. And of course, in that moment a chorus from a song popped into my head. Not a song on my ipod or a song played regularly at church or on the radio. It is just a song that I have sang in church a handful of times, but the melody and the words came into my head at that moment with perfect clarity:

Though I walk through valleys low

I'll fear no evil

By the waters still my soul

My heart will trust in you!

I asked my sister to figure out the artist and download that song for me and I went into the parent's shower room in the ICU unit and cried it out to the Lord. It was exactly what I needed!! It was God telling me not to fear, that He was still in control and just to trust in Him. It instantly gave me the strength and the peace that I needed to continue on. Peace that transends understanding.

I am working on memorizing more scripture this year, and is it any coincidence that my 2 verses for March were the following:

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 16:33 I have told you these things so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Gives me chills now reading these....God knew what was on my horizon and he wanted to make sure that I had these verses fresh in my head. Many times over the past weeks, these verses have randomly popped into my head- just the Holy Spirit's way of reminding me that He is strengthening me, holding me up and giving me peace!

Which leads me to want to share with everyone that to call yourself a Christian or to "believe" in Jesus is not enough. Sure, it is probably enough for your salvation, but God offers an abundant life here on Earth. The key to that abundance (like the abundant peace that I experienced in the midst of tragedy) is to walk daily with him, read the Bible, and fellowship with other believers. The closer we are to Jesus, the more able he is to help us when we need to be carried.

Turn to Him.

Fix your eyes on His face.

Trust Him.

He will carry you.

God is Good

As I continue to process everything that has taken place this month, it is heavier and heavier on my heart that this story is not just ours. I knew from the moment the accident took place that God was still in control. He did not turn his back, he knew Brett was going to be hit. He did not make a mistake. And in this, I also know that the only reason God would have us go through this is for our good. I know that God has a purpose and plan for everything under heaven, including Brett being hit by a car. I probably won't know why He was hit, or why he survived until I get to heaven, but in the meantime, I will trust in Him and try to tell everyone of the miraculous God we serve!

So, I feel burdened to share the story....to let everyone know of the miracles God demonstrated, of the peace He poured down on us and the way He carried us like only He can. It is my desperate wish that everyone would know Him enough that if and when a tragedy strikes (or any time in your life for that matter) you will feel the closeness of God, experience the peace only He can give and know that when everything looks bad, He is still in control.

Let me share a few of the miracles that I have noticed with you:

1. All of our neighbors were home on a Tuesday morning. ( I have no idea why- God just knew I was going to need them.)

2. An ER doctor that lives down the street and I have only seen about 4 times in 10 years was home and just so happened to have heard the accident and came running. (Did I mention that he was scheduled to be out of town and at the last minute changed his plans. And he was the person who told me to start breathing for Brett. In my hysteria I had not even noticed that Brett was not breathing.)

3. Brett slept pretty much for the first 5 days and guess what....he woke up and stayed awake on what day? Easter! Thank you Jesus! The worst experience of my life led me to the most glorious day celebrating not only that Jesus gave his life so that we could be saved, but he also demonstrated His magnificence again by giving Brett the strength on that day to stay awake!

Brett on Easter outside the hospital

4. Despite suffering a skull fracture, TBI (traumatic brain injury), and fractured femur, and many lacerations and bruises, Brett has only been on pain meds (Motrin and Tylenol) for a couple of days in the hospital for a sore neck. That is what I call miraculous healing! Not to mention will be returning to school on Monday!

Every day I am realizing more and more as I recount the events of the day with neighbors or as I watch Brett heal so quickly, but I just wanted to get these down in writing so that I don't forget and so that all will realize how powerful our God is!

Thank you Jesus!

Overwhelmed with Gratitude

As people are asking me this week, how I am doing, I don't even know where to begin. The only word that I can think of to explain how I feel is, "Grateful."

Grateful for:

- The awesome display of God's grace and mercy

- The peace that we felt in the midst of the worst days of our lives

- The love, support and encouragement that poured in all around us and met every need we had even before I knew of the need. We had friends and family providing, meals, a trailer at the hospital, care and rides for Nicholas and Cody, prayer, cards and balloons, a housekeeper, prayer, and more prayer. I have been completely humbled at the amount of love we have felt and I know that is what has literally carried us through.

- The donations that were received to help support us in our journey to adopt a child from Jamaica. While we were in the hospital, we received so many generous donations that we are almost half way to our goal! Truly humbling!

I told a friend yesterday that I don't even have the words to express the gratitude that is welling up in my heart. Thank you is just so insufficient. I wish I could just give you all a window to my heart so that you could see and know my love, my awe and my deep appreciation for every card, for every text, for every cookie, for every meal.

Thank you so much!

Move, Mountain, Move!!

Oh Jesus, I do believe, help my unbelief! Mark 9:24

Today we met with an agency and an attorney. We realized the first costs are going to be almost $6,000 for just the agency to conduct the home study and post-adoption visits. On top of that we will have lawyer fees, documents charges, fingerprinting fees, doctors fees, immigration and citizenship fees. And none of that includes the travel expenses! (Did I mention that it is our goal to take our boys with us to pick up their new brother.) Upon arriving home, I realized that because we want to adopt from Jamaica and the Child Development Agency there requires that adopting families work directly with the CDA and not an outside agency (Independant Adoption) that we are not eligible for many of the adoption grants that I had planned on applying for. Then, I read that we must make TWO, not one trip to Jamaica to adopt from that country and may have to spend up to 14 days there on the final trip.

I also know that we do not have the funds in our account to cover those costs.

What I do know is that when God is calling you to do something, He will always provide a way for it to happen. That if we have faith as small as a mustard seed, that we can say to this mountain, "Move" and it will. I know that God has very clearly called us to adopt and just as clearly to return to Jamaica to do it. Therefore, I know he will provide.

As I think of all the obstacles in our way to get to Jamaica and bring home our baby, I try to focus on what will be.....on the first moments of holding our new son, of giving bubble baths again, singing the itsy bitsy spider and teaching him to ride a bike.

I am inspired by Katie Davis, "I believe that we were each created to change the world for someone. To serve someone. To love someone the way Christ first loved us, to spread His light. This is the dream and it is possible.

We can let the fear of something that really is small compared to the greatness of God cripple us. Or we can take a risk, do something to help someone else, make a person smile, change someone's world."

"At the end of my life, I don't want to arrive in heaven on a full tank. I want to fall into the arms of our Savior, knowing that I used everything that He had given me to be His hands and feet while I walked on this Earth!"

Boy, oh boy, oh boy....We are going to have another boy!!

As many of you know, our family visited an orphanage in Jamaica during a vacation in 2010 and that visit completely changed us forever. I thought it was a trip to help teach the kids about the blessings that they have and that not all children have what they do. But that experience changed Neil and me much deeper than I thought it would. I wish that I could post pictures from our visit, but I promised the orphanage director that I would not place any photos of the children on the Internet. You can read a reflection that I wrote after the trip here: http://www.thecastrofam.blogspot.com/2010/07/blossom-garden-recap.html

When we left Jamaica I cried for days at what we were leaving behind. I did not want to return to America and all of the "stuff" that had become my focus and preoccupied my days. My eyes had been opened to a great need that I knew I would never forget.

Fast forward to November 2011.....my heart was still very passionate about the needs of children in orphanages but our lives had returned to normal back at home. That is until Neil and I started reading the book by Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie. God reopened my wounds as I read the pages in this book and Neil and I started discussing the possibility and feasibility of actually adopting and bringing a child home from Jamaica to be our son. God moved fast in our hearts and the hearts of our boys and by March 18, 2012, we knew where God was leading us...back to Jamaica.

It was this video (that I found while browsing on Pinterest of all places) that put both of us over the edge to commit to what God was truly placing on our hearts in a big way.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLpuIgDQ3Lw

It is amazing to me how God works in such a clear way. Our family vacation to Jamaica was a miracle within itself and it is so amazing how God places events, people, books and even videos on Pinterest to get us where we need to be. When he is leading you to do something, he will be there for you every step of the way and we are all so excited about the little boy that will soon be here at home with us forever!!

Please join us in praying for him. We do not yet know his name or what he looks like, but because we want to adopt a 2-4 year old, we know that he is already alive and probably living in an orphanage somewhere, eating whatever they give him (when we were there they fed the kids ground pumpkin with anchovies for protein), and lying alone in a crib or stuffed in a bed with no covers with 3-4 other children. My heart already aches and longs to hold him, cuddle him, and watch the boys wrestle with him or teach him how to play catch.

We love you little guy, and we can't wait to come get you!!

The one thing that will slow us down the most is the financial burden of international adoption. At this time, adopting a child overseas averages $15,000-$35,000. Unfortunately, we do not have that kind of money sitting in our bank accounts. So we are asking friends, family, or anyone else who has a heart for children or adoption to help us out. If anyone who reads this blog could give just $10, the cost of a lunch, that would help tremendously in our quest to bring our brother home.

You can click here to help us out:

http://www.acharityproject.com/f/HelpusBringOurBrotherHome

Blessings!

James 1:27- Religion that God our father accepts as pure and righteous is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.

Valentines Day

We started the day with waffles topped with strawberries and cream cheese.

Then we finished the day with a special candle lit dinner of ribs and corn bread topped off with special Valentine cake pops for dessert!

We are so blessed that Jesus loved us so much that He chose not only to give His life for us, but also that he has showered us with the abundant love that we get to share everyday!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Block N

Here is a video of Nick and Cody recieving their Block N Awards at school.

Disneyland 2011

This past December, we were treated to a special Disneyland trip with the Castro clan. We had a blast going on the rides and hanging out together.

It was an extra special treat that it worked out that the Demanbys, Lakovichs and Casarolis were all also able to make the trip that week so we all got to be together!

Getting a cousin picture was a bit difficult after Hannah's mermaid balloon popped.